As I faced obstacle after obstacle over the last few months, my friend kept encouraging me to look for the silver linings. Reminding me of all the good despite all the awful that was happening.
To see the lining you have to take a step back and consider the entire entity, your entire situation. For me seeing the silver lining doesn’t mean belittling or downplaying what I’ve been through, or only examining the positive, happy parts of my life. The silver lining encompasses all of it: the good, the bad, and the ugly of my life. They all come together to form who I am.
It’s easy to see the silver lining shine through during the moments of your life when you’re happiest, or when things are easy and care-free. Those are the moments that remind you that your life has a silver lining, even when you can’t see it.
I do believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes something bad has to happen to force you to change your course and send you on a better path. “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it,” so maybe we have to break in order to rebuild in a better way. Maybe without sorrow, heartbreak, and hardships we’ll never take the path that will lead to our fulfillment.
As I walk through times filled with grief and hardship I want to remember the moments I could see the silver lining peek through, but more importantly be reassured that I am still shrouded in that sense of hope and happiness even though I can’t see it.
Life is filled with uncertainties, and has fewer opportunities for change than we realize. I think sometimes you simply need your friends. You need someone to take your hand and tell you to jump back in, start living again, and trust yourself to notice another glimpse of the silver lining. You didn’t imagine it, it never disappeared, it will always be there with you; you just have to have the courage to look for it again and trust that it’s there.
So now that you believe again, what do you do? That same unknowingly wise friend also told me, “if you enjoy something, pursue it.” So simple, so easy. Why does trying to “live your best life” have to be complicated? If you enjoy something just go after that, follow that instinct, that joy.
So that’s what I’ve been up to, pursuing the simple things that make me happy; being kind to myself again in a way that seemed complicated before. Now I fill my free time enjoying the company of my sweet boxer puppy, reading books and poetry, rewatching some of my favorite shows on Netflix, going for a hike in the woods, dabbling with writing, and seizing every opportunity to surround myself with true friends.
The key to seeing and remembering my silver lining is in the simplicity of enjoying what makes me happy. I have to silence the incessant internal judgement that wants to tell me that I’m not enough, or not doing the typical things that make others happy.
Now that I recognize my personal rubric, the things that make me feel happy and fulfilled, that’s what I should use to gauge myself and my efforts to “live my best life.” You shouldn’t grade an algebra test using a physics test’s rubric. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others in such harmful ways or we’ll never recognize our own silver lining and the simple things that can make our lives uniquely beautiful.
Margaret Breaks 